Destiny
Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.
- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
What is Destiny?
People often talk about ‘finding their destiny,’ but what does that really mean?
For me, it starts with noticing those subtle signals—both positive and negative—that guide us through life.
Positive and Negative Signals
Following your destiny is what you do when you notice that something or someone gives you a certain positive feeling, and you start to orient yourself towards it.
On the other hand, when you notice that something or someone gives you a negative feeling, it probably means there’s something there you should stay away from. Of course, it’s important to analyze why you might have that negative feeling, e.g. it could be a response learned during childhood—a reaction that no longer serves you.
Here’s an example of a positive signal: Years ago, I became curious about learning how to program. After an initial look, I spent the next 8 months obsessed with the topic. I didn’t do it to see where it would take me; I was just really interested in it and felt compelled to learn more. Recognizing and listening to that feeling was me following my destiny.
For a negative signal, I used to suffer from social anxiety. Social situations were very uncomfortable for me, but there was something in me that said it was important for me to overcome this. A decade later, people can’t imagine me being shy. Overcoming that discomfort opened doors to relationships and experiences I couldn’t have imagined when I was younger.
Inspiration for the Idea
My concept of destiny ties closely to an idea I first heard from Jordan Peterson.
He talks about how things that annoy us can indicate what we need to pay attention to. You don’t choose what annoys you, but these annoyances can signal problems you’re meant to solve.
The feelings they generate point you toward the path you should take.
I couldn’t find the exact video where I first heard this idea from him, but these two should help:
Following My Own Destiny
During the pandemic, I started to learn Spanish. After a year and a half of learning, I decided to test my skills and booked a 2-month trip to Mexico City. It turned out to be an incredible two months, full of connection, fun, and cultural discovery.
Listening to that instinct to go was me following my destiny. That decision transformed my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined, and it’s one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
Self-Awareness and Curiosity
Following your destiny requires self-awareness. You need to recognize how things make you feel and how you respond to them. It also means being honest with yourself and cultivating curiosity about life.
Imagine life as a series of doors that you can open, and as you open one, countless others appear. Sometimes, you feel pulled toward a particular door even before opening it. Those subtle instincts are just as important to follow.
Final Thoughts
To summarize, destiny is about following your instincts and recognizing both positive and negative feelings as guides. Curiosity and joy can signal a path worth pursuing, while discomfort or annoyance can point to obstacles or problems that require attention. Reflecting on these feelings is crucial to understanding what destiny holds for you.
Ultimately, following destiny involves self-awareness, honesty, and a willingness to embrace curiosity as you navigate life’s choices.
What sparks curiosity or brings joy in your life? And what are those nagging feelings of discomfort trying to tell you?
